I just spent seven hours trying to put love into pictures. And then I spent four hours trying to put it into words. Then I creeped dA for an hour, searchword: Love. I think I've finally realized that no matter what I or anyone else does, it's inadequate.

You have no idea how much that frustrates me.

I am so used to being able to put my feeling onto paper, and now there's this feeling where, no matter what I do, it's insufficient. I want to be able to put it all down on paper, get it out of my system, and get on like my life for the next 5 days and 17 hours (not that I'm counting or anything).

My boy is in Europe for 10 days, and I'm totally dieing. I'm functional, I'm fine, it's not like I'm crying on my bed all week, but I just can't get him out of my head. He's always, always in the back of my mind, but while he's gone, it just amplifies everything. I can't get him out of my head. The saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" definitely applies. I didn't realize how much I love him until I can't talk to him for 10 days in a row. He's been dropping me little notes from internet cafés that are like, "I LOVE YOU and miss you so much. 6 more days." or, "Once I get home, you are not going to be able to walk for a few days. I think about you all the time. Love you." You'd think they'd make me feel better, but they just make me miss him even more.


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